Advent 11: Genesis 1 Isaiah 1:18 Psalm 51:1-10

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Its an emotional day for me today. 21 years ago today my Dad, Michael or Mick as everyone called him, died suddenly at the age of just 44. He was one of the friendliest, most outgoing, generous, caring and all round lovely guys you could ever meet. That’s not just the rose tinted glasses you always wear when looking back on someone who died young talking, but what anyone who knew him thought about him; the standing room only at Maidstone Crematorium for his funeral testifies to it as well.

I am now 41, meaning that it’s been over half my life since he died and I’ve had pretty much my whole adult life without him there to guide me.

I haven’t, however, been without any guidance. I’ve been able to turn to someone who has experienced everything; creation, destruction, joy, sorrow, life, death, freedom and suffering. He has taught, guided, celebrated, punished, and mourned with people since the beginning of time.

I try to follow what he teaches me, but I’m always getting it wrong. The thing is, I know that he’ll pick me up, clean me off and set me on my way again. I know he loves me, unconditionally, and will forgive my faults and failings because of this. Just like my Dad always did.

God is not a substitute for my Dad. He is so different to that. However, when I look at him acting like this towards me I can see why Jesus referred to him as “Father”; someone who is there to bring us up to be the best person we can be.

A year, nearly to the day, after Dad died, I became a father myself. My daughter turns 20 next week and its my intention to be here for her longer than my Dad was able to be. But he still influences me in how I am as a parent as well as how I relate to my Father in heaven. I always knew my Dad would be there for me and I know that God will be too.

(In loving memory of Michael Jalland: 21 January 1949 – 11 December 1993.)

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4 thoughts on “Advent 11: Genesis 1 Isaiah 1:18 Psalm 51:1-10

  1. Rod Haggerty

    I`ll never forget your dad, he took me under his wing after i came out of the Army. He mentored and supported me and helped me progress at work. He knew i had a young family and welcomed me into your home. I have many great memories of “partying” with your mum and dad and many friends from Metair. He loved you kids to pieces and he would always speak of you and how proud he was. We would sneek into the very posh West Malling golf club every week to play squash, i never beat him once, just showed how fit he was. I miss him like a brother, kind regards to your families and love to mum
    Rod Haggerty
    ps would be great to catch up with mum, is she still in Kent?

    1. Hi Rod
      Great to hear from you. Hope all is well.
      My Mum lives in Cumbria now, just outside of Kendal. Sue lives there too with her husband and two kids. I’m in Falkirk, Scotland, with my wife and three kids.
      If you fire me another comment with some contact details I can pass them on to her (I need to approve any comments before they appear on the blog, so only I’d see it)
      Cheers
      Darren

  2. Rod Haggerty

    Hi Darren, so good to hear from after all these years, can’t believe that you have a 20 year old daughter, I think you were only in your early teens when I last saw you at dads funeral. Paula and I have spent some great holidays in the Lake District, tell mum we will visit her when we next go on holiday. My email address is rod_haggerty@yahoo.co.uk
    Kind regards
    Rod

    1. Cheers for that. I was 20 myself when Dad died, and I still find it weird that I have a daughter that age too! I’ve given your email to Mum.
      Pass on my best to Paula as well.
      Thanks
      Darren

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