Sweet dreams are made of this..

One of the side effects of being sedated for as long as I was is weird dreams and hallucinations. I had many of these, but unfortunately (or fortunately in some cases) my memory of them has become quite clouded. As a result I can only remember certain dreams and only sketchy bits of information from them. What I have never been able to do is to ascertain whether some particular ones are dreams from my period of sleeping in or hallucinations from after waking.

What I’m going to do here is to write what I can remember, which will look a little surreal at times and completely nonsensical at others, but I feel I should.

My first dream, and I am sure it was, saw me in a hospital (oddly enough). I was a medical student, I think, and as a form of bullying I had been handcuffed naked to a radiator in a darkened room, unable to move or cry out for help. It was cold, very frightening and probably summed up what my body was going through at the time. It seemed to last for hours until, for no apparent reason, I was transported to a nightclub. I was still naked and chained to a radiator, but now I was in a cage suspended above the dance floor in full view of everyone. Despite the captivity and total loss of dignity, the most distressing part was the awful early 90’s Euro-beat dance music playing (think Technotronic, Culture Beat and Ace of Base and you get the idea). The lighting was predominantly red, there were other cages with people dancing in them and I could see the DJ a few feet away from me knowing that, if I could only get out of the cage, his slow, painful death could easily be achieved and would be fully deserved for playing this tripe.

One dream, most of the detail completely escapes me now, involved chasing a prison van carrying a random old man and being driven by Ant and Dec. A lot of my dreams I can relate to what was happening to me at the time. This, however, appears to be mental, random rubbish.

On one occasion I found myself at a public school with two friends, a boy and a girl, and we were taking part in a very unusual game of cricket. From memory, the object of the game was to hit the ball as hard as you can and then race the ball round the school building. I won (which is probably the least believable part of the draw).

I was also involved in an investigation into the theft of a petty cash box from a small bingo hall on the Isle of Wight. I’m not sure how I became involved, but I spent a lot of time driving round in a post van visiting pubs, but not having a drink. The whole thing appeared in my head like a cross between a detective show and a local TV news report. I can’t remember if I ever solved the case.

The most vivid dream was the last one (you’ll see how I know it was the last one in a moment). I was a newspaper war reporter on the front line of an extremely violent battle. I was being accompanied by a squaddie on the Army’s transport of choice, a Space Hopper. Despite it’s obvious drawbacks (no speed, difficult manuverability, easily burst and , most importantly, very hard to fit two people onto whilst negotiating a war zone) we managed to dodge trouble until we were on our way back to base and took a direct hit (I’m not sure what from, but judging by the Space Hopper I would guess it was a Nerf dart) and I found myself being rushed to a field hospital. As I was waiting to be operated on, the field hospital came under sustained attack and an evacuation took place. As the least injured person in the hospital (so it probably was a Nerf dart) I was last to be evacuated. I lay on a gurney as the electrics went, the building shook, ceiling tiles fell around me and I could hear explosions outside. Eventually I was taken to a large military aircraft and flown back to good old Blighty. They took me to a civilian hospital and wheeled me into a private room. As we came crashing through the double doors to the room, like the original title sequence to Casualty, I closed my eyes. I didn’t open them again until all was quiet. As I did, I looked around and could make out some family pictures, my radio from home and some get well cards. I know this was my last dream because, as far as I can tell, this was the moment I woke up.

I will, in the next post, get back to what was happening in the real world, but I wanted to share what was happening in my head as I was unconscious. As I have said, I can’t remember everything, but this does give a bit of a snapshot into what it’s like to sleep for 2 weeks.



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